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25 January 2015 @ 12:52 am
Polygamy, promiscuity and other thoughts  
I've had good opportunity to find out about mom's opinions about LGBT related stuff on neutral basis because of my internship at an association that works to improve the lives of LGBT people. I made a questionnaire for LGBT-parents who've had children in previous heterosexual relationships and turned to mom for advice on how to present my findings. Needless to say, some of the content of my material caught her attention, such as the term gender queer.

At some point after having gone through many different labels and family forms and whatnot, she asked if there were any families with multiple partners. I gave her a piece of paper with a reply from someone describing their family as polyamorous. The subject seemed difficult for her, but actually the poly part wasn't the thing, but the part of the answer saying that they have multiple people in the relationship, that are all open for others as well. Open relationships are a difficult subject even for me, so I don't blame her.

Watching the series Looking and having seen from close proximity a gay friend's life, I've come to the conclusion that it's true; gay guys are promiscuous at least to some extent (don't know if much more than heteros tho). It's something that I've learned to accept, but struggle to understand. The only conclusion I can make, is that men simply are wired to have sex a lot and when two men are put together, there simply is no reason to hide the urges. Same goes with the straightforwardness on Grindr. And still, watching this Looking series, you can see them getting upset about jealousy issues, which is kind of sad. I love how honest the series is about the ups and downs, but at the same time, I wouldn't necessarily want to show it to homophobes. Trying to argue about gays not being able to commit or be good parents is hard already.

One of the closest friends called me about how she felt upset about the same-sex marriage law, because she had lived with promiscuous gays in her teenage years and did not see it as a healthy environment for children. I didn't know what to say. Her experiences don't represent the entire gay community and the families wanting children usually are a bit more tame, but the promiscuity subject leaves me a bit torn. These are some seriously tough subjects.

Another thing that left me puzzled, was something I stumbled on at reddit.com. There was a topic about gay brothers in a loving and committed relation. While the idea seemed odd, I realized that they're not hurting anyone and able to have offspring. So each their own, I guess. People do much more horrible things all the time.